Voices in our head exercise

One of the topics I discussed in Swim Jump Fly was the shoulds that we feel. They can pop up as voices in our heads telling us to act in a certain way or making us feel bad about the way we live our lives.

Sometimes these are from a parent or teacher in the past. Others are more general shoulds, things we think society expects us to do. If you are aware of one of these it can be helpful to check whether it’s how you really feel, or if it’s an echo from the past. Is it a supportive voice, or an inner critic? To explore where these come from, why not try the exercise below.

Here are some questions you could ask yourself:

1)   Whose voice are you hearing? Are the doubts, questions, concerns yours or are they from parents, loved ones, family, friends or people at work?

2)   What is the tone of your inner voice? Helpful, curious, interested? Or, questioning, patronising, negative?

3)   If a friend came to you with the same dilemma, what would you say? Would you be kind and interested or dismissive and cruel? It’s helpful to use the same voice (or words of comfort) that you’d give your friend, but instead on yourself.

4)   Can you pull on your own reservoir of change? Try reflecting on the times where you’ve successfully navigated transitions in the past. Remind yourself how you did it. Was it your skills, experience or your personality that got you through? You still have those in your toolbox, so you’re likely to be successful with this as well.

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